Dec. 6th, 2015

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Everything on craigslist looks like a scam. Everything on monster or careerbuilder is either for very skilled labor (no, I don't know how to repair specific, or any, medical equipment, nor do I have a CDL), part time and/or temporary, or KMart and Target.

I'm never going to get out. I made the mistake of thinking there actually was a door open to me when in fact I had missed that opportunity months ago because of trying to do the right thing by someone who probably at the end of the day didn't notice and didn't give a shit and likely has a bad opinion of me now either way. Because I don't have anything of value to offer anyone, and the things I can give aren't the things that people want me around for. Everything else is out of order and I don't know how to fix it. People still think I'm early twenties because it's so obvious I'm completely floundering and the idea that I might actually be an adult age is laughable.

There is nothing I am doing right now that doesn't come down to inertia and numb muscle memory. So fucking pointless.

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