crows | (no subject)

(no subject)

I am so tired right now. My period started today, and it's rendering me almost incapable of doing anything. I'm so tired I could cry... if anyone snaps at me at work, I probably will. I hate that. I hate feeling like this. But everything around me is sucking me down, right now, and I'm having a hard time staying above it. Everybody's anger at Liam and Guppy because of Kris certainly isn't making anything easier. So help me, I will not let this family be torn apart by this. Near as I can figure, -he's- not angry with them. They're all (all three of them) being accountable, taking responsibility for their actions. Yes, it's a tragic fucking accident... Yes, someone we all care about is hurt very bad, but beating up two kids isn't going to make him any better, is it? IS IT?!

I fucking thought not.

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Hey, if you need anything, call me. An ear, a thought (ha), a ride, coffee somewhere, just about anything, (i'm not a contortionist yet, but soon, yes...SOON. Excellent.)
i just have to run around like mad cleaning for mother some today, and maybe tomorrow, and painting for mother, and cleaning my room for me, and maybe even painting for me too... But much of that could be accomplished after hours... ie: i -can- paint that cabinet at 4am. since i can't rightly do anything else at 4am. But now i'm rambeling (you can see i'm avoiding cleaning the deck).
The point is: I am here for you. for near enough to whatever you would need me for (contortionism still out).
Much love, and rice.

Voons! And the Loc Nar! ...

Thanks, hun. I may take you up on some of that rice...

W have potato salad like madness... as we speak... and other foodstuffs, if you are interested...

In response to what you posted in my journal, yes please, tell him hello for me, and if he's feeling up to it a hug. While you're at it, give Guppy a hug for me too, if you see him. When I talked to him, he was scared...and I can't say I blame him. Liam, if he's that worried, has learned his lesson. If you can, though it probably won't mean much coming from me, I've talked to him all of twice, tell him that it'll be okay.

As much as I was angry with all of them before, I'm softhearted. I have a strange kind of mother's love for Guppy, mostly 'cause he acts like such a little kid. ^.^() *hugs* I hope you feel better too, Marie, I really hope so. At least you've got your period, I'm still worried about mine. I got the signs that it was coming a couple weeks ago and then....nothing. So I'm kinda on edge about it. Not allowed to tell Logan!

Let him know, honey. I think I remember talking to you about taking those pregnancy tests I took the one time -I- was two weeks late, several months ago. So... it -does- happen. I mean, I know you know it happens, but... it happened to me not too long ago. Just cause of stress; Jace moving out, work, money. Blah blahblah. I'm honestly surprised I'm ontime this month. You two have a plan, right?

(My plan, however horrible this might sound, is instantaneous abortion. As early as possible. No hemming, no hawing, no poking around at other options for a month...)

Besides, I -couldn't- well tell Logan. He hasn't spoken to me for two months now, and I sincerely doubt he's intending to, ever again, really. *wry grin*. But I still think you should tell him. I'm sure it's important to him to be there for you, whatever is going on. I think he'd be hurt if you were going through a hard time and didn't let him in on it.

I actually did, but as you say, it might just be stress related. I'll find out later, and yes, I did have a plan in case I am. I plan on going the pill abortion route...I'll just not look into the toilet when I flush. I'll have nightmares for weeks if I do.

Yea. I'll hang onto a good thought for you, alright sweetie? I'm here if you need -anything- at all. 9077485995(cell) or 9075620931(home) (now featuring voicemail AND an answering machine! GO ME!). Call anytime.

some people need to understand what's more important.
sorry about your job, your days, all such things.

*hugs* Thank you. It'll all be over soon... *caresses red button fondly* Allll be over sooooon.

... they've created a monster!

I question my insanity too much to comment on this... :(

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