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crowsI had to leave my lover in the hospital tonight, deliriously sleeping from drugs imbibed to get him through the relatively minor surgery involved in reinflating his collapsed right lung.
The thirst in me is endless. My fingers feel like lead. I am terrified to sleep alone tonight.
I’m going to go visit him in the morning. They say he’ll be a few days, to repair. I’ve fallen even further in hate for that building for keeping him from me that long… not as if my arms would do well in healing him. Such a bitterness in me, at that. Here spawns another week of tension and of bad memories that I do not wish to repeat, in that hospital. But this time it’s necessary. This time someone needs it.
He asked me not to cry but I couldn’t stop. I cried so much. I’m so afraid right now. My body is tired, and I can’t hide from work too long with this. But at the same time the thought of crawling into that bed, which should be warm with his body, is almost as painful as having to leave him alone, in an unfamiliar room, hooked up to an IV and oxygen and wires that would write down that life, that means so much to me, into varicolored lines on a six by six inch monitor.
Off I go to try and bury my anguish in pillows to familiarly scented.
The thirst in me is endless. My fingers feel like lead. I am terrified to sleep alone tonight.
I’m going to go visit him in the morning. They say he’ll be a few days, to repair. I’ve fallen even further in hate for that building for keeping him from me that long… not as if my arms would do well in healing him. Such a bitterness in me, at that. Here spawns another week of tension and of bad memories that I do not wish to repeat, in that hospital. But this time it’s necessary. This time someone needs it.
He asked me not to cry but I couldn’t stop. I cried so much. I’m so afraid right now. My body is tired, and I can’t hide from work too long with this. But at the same time the thought of crawling into that bed, which should be warm with his body, is almost as painful as having to leave him alone, in an unfamiliar room, hooked up to an IV and oxygen and wires that would write down that life, that means so much to me, into varicolored lines on a six by six inch monitor.
Off I go to try and bury my anguish in pillows to familiarly scented.
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no subject
Date: 2003-09-06 01:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-06 12:44 pm (UTC)