authoring destruction

I went through all of the prior material for Black Swan today, skimmed the pages. One of the most inspiring things for me concerning the process of writing is how frequently, when I encounter questions about how something should be throughout the novel, or the eventual resolution of a particular situation, that when I look back in text I have already written the answer is there. The trick is only whether I can be true to my characters enough that their actions will guide the story. It's all here, I just have to figure out how to communicate it. That strikes me as a lot less daunting of a notion than pure invention out of void.

Now, that said, I'm not getting very much writing done. I'm behind on the goal I set for myself a few days ago, and this is the last day off I have before the sale at the toy store (this weekend is going to mean a lot of very, very busy hours for me down there).

I fly home to Iowa Monday evening. I'm looking forward to being back. As soon as I arrive, I not only need to arrange for work but also get in touch with the dental college. This cavity in my remaining lower wisdom tooth needs to be dealt with - the dentist I've seen up here recommended once again that I just have them taken out because it's a waste of money if I get the filling now and encounter problems with the teeth later (his general consensus is that wisdom teeth can only end in tears). He says the University of Iowa dental college is very good, and I can have a full exam and full xrays done there much more inexpensively than up here. Then, they can recommend the best course of action, the immediacy with which I need to take it, and an oral surgeon (also at the University) because I don't want to have the extractions done with local anesthetic (I'm very resistant to it). Hopefully, this will help ease the fact of my not having insurance. (Getting the other two out cost about $1000 at the end of the day; I had insurance at the time, which helpfully found reasons not to help cover all but about $200 of it).

So. That's the big day. I'm terrified... much more so than I should be, I'm sure. The last few days have certainly been an interesting experience. Much as I feel a little like I've been a hostage to it, I've certainly observed in myself - if nothing else - a definitive evolution of my relationship with this particular pain.

At any rate, if I never post again... YOU'LL KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ME!!

...probably, nothing out of the ordinary at all, and I just forgot I had a Livejournal again.

In one week, I will have two molars less face. Less than a week, actually. After sitting around miserably in the dentist all morning, they took some x-rays (I declined the full exam for the time being, though I'm about due for my yearly cleaning). Yes, it's my wisdom teeth (or complications thereof). Yes, it's infected. They sent me off to have a remarkably pleasant and calm conversation with the oral surgeon (I kept the hysteria at bay this time when we discussed going under anesthesia! BE PROUD OF ME! I DIDN'T EVEN CRY A LITTLE!). He wrote me a prescription for antibiotics to reduce the swelling, Vicodin for... whatever you use Vicodin for and we set me up an appointment on monday.


So I'm losing the lower right tooth (the infected one) AND MAKING THE UPPER RIGHT ONE WALK THE PLANK.

LET THIS BE AN EXAMPLE TO THE REST OF YOU.