And if you swim to the edge of things...

It's been a long, dark, sweet, difficult, stretched, and driven handful of weeks. A lot has happened. A lot is happening. A lot of things are going to have to shift when I get home from the left coast, in a clutch of days.

I've driven effectively from Chicago to San Francisco in three days, the vast majority of those miles in a vehicle larger and more ungainly than anything I've piloted in my life. I've seen three bands I absolutely fucking adore (Nightwish, Kamelot, Psyclon Nine) and stand to see a fourth I'm excited about (Assemblage 23) in a couple of days. I've danced and screamed and sang and been having unusually vivid dreams, and for the first time in a number of years (and to my great relief) felt the touch of the ocean. Walking out toward the surf and the setting sun, I greeted the cold water like I always do, hello lover, and was reminded that even as my life is rooted and happy, I belong to greater upheaval than this. Much as I know and love the deep earth, stillness and silence, tectonic hibernation, I should not grow complacent here. I am so restless in these cities. But I feel more like myself. More like the creature.

I'd really like to write in great depth about a variety of corporeal and incorporeal things that are going on at the moment, or that I'm chewing through, but... I absolutely do not have the focus for it right now. I suspect half of that is going to fall on the crows side of things and half of it will fall on the clocksong side of things, but I'm not honestly sure all of which is which. Because, a lot is wrapped up together, right now. I'm trying to sort it out. There are some complicated feelings, and not even all about the things I was expecting.

And the beat goes on.

Well, contributing to the Feelings Melange of present, much of which is related to my attachment to music and the variety of really excellent musical experiences I've had in the last week, I've just learned that vocalist Annette Olzon has just parted ways with Nightwish, just days after my good fortune of seeing them, and her, in concert for the second time.

I felt my heart break a little, you guys. You don't even know. I've loved this band for a solid decade, now, having first fallen for Tarja's voice and their sound over all and was very anxious the year they split with her (around the same time that Liv Kristine left Theatre of Tragedy). Annette is a dynamite performer and, in my opinion, a really stellar vocal talent though she's not a classical singer. She also had a really warm personality on stage and, from the end of things that I saw as a fan, seemed to fit into a really good thing with them. I deeply enjoy the two albums they did with her, and I hope they find someone who works well for what they need.

And now, I'm going to go curl up in a corner and sulk somewhere and do some fucking homework.