(no subject)

[crows]

My god, I am not ok. Rampant stabs of fear, called to be told I'm alone tonight in the middle of my evening, in the middle of unpacking plastic magic tricks and fighting shelving... and cold. Very and immensely full of cold. He'll come to me tonight, he won't leave me alone... not when I'm this afraid and crying this hard over a phone that I had to make three different phonecalls in order to reach. Terrified, sad, lonely... almost like I'm getting -sick- again but it's not all the time anymore... and I don't understand why. Sick is the last thing I can be, sick like that, with my head on backward... always thinking about death, always wanting to hurt myself, always afraid. I don't go back there, anymore, and I won't. I won't I won't I won't.

Can any of you tell I don't have anyone to say this too right now? There is no one here for me to spill my tears to and I can't quite cope with that... Not right now.

There is no conclusion, no cry for help, no cry for sympathy. Few hear here... but I had to say it to -someone-... I have to pass three more hours, and then he'll be here, and I will be alright.

Comments

[takemein.livejournal.com]

you said it.
and its loud and clear to the few/or many that are here.
amote

[vayleen.livejournal.com]

i love you. you'll always have me here.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_kelvin/]

some of us do listen

[chaotique.livejournal.com]

For this, I thank you all.