Villanelle: The Nautilus

From the first house, ghosts have set me free.
In one great gesture, I am brought to bear.
Do I sail by moon or more by sea?

Here, I search an echoed, ancient history
In mirror, tomb, and endless spiral stair,
Where from the second house I am set free.

Face of muse, or maid, or mother disagree
What task a resolution, what throne's heir:
Do I sail by moon or more by sea?

Here in fathoms, dirge, and jubilee
I've searched the face of life for every care
From the third house, ghosts have set me free.

A year for motion; another, memory.
Inertia guides me onward, and I dare:
To sail beneath the moon, beneath the sea.

Reforged by fire, volcanic gravity
Reborn by stony fountain, echoed prayer.
From the last house, ghosts have set me free
To sail or swim by moon, by frozen sea.

And some you do for love, love...

Evening draws to a close.

I feel like... clutching my skull and screaming at the top of my lungs, out in the open where my voice - the most powerful instrument I have, I will ever have - can travel unimpeded and bore equally into heaven and hell.

Why? There are a lot of reasons. It is largely the myriad and force of them that makes me want to tear them by the soul out of my throat; excise these demons violently back out into the astral where they belong. Even more so, there is much I can't or wouldn't name... but things are changing, a new year rolls towards me as unyielding as a glacier. I am at once tired, afraid, and without direction as I am filled with life. Burning, frenetic life. I found that child again, that reaching curious and powerful thing that does not age behind my skin... mostly, I am happy! That's an important part of this. As anxious, as scatterbrained as I've been, as it gets closer and closer to a head I realize it is largely positive. That said, it is a very different breed of joy than what I have been accustomed to.

I want a job wherein I can make ok money (it really doesn't have to be fabulous). An hourly wage that pays overtime would be a bonus. I want to work three weeks out of every month so that I can have one week for travel. 40-50 hours a week. Does anyone have any ideas? It needs to be something that's more get-shit-done based than be-warm-body-girl based. Retail or clerical won't work cause somewhere needs to be there doing that stuff pretty much all the time; if I'm gone I'll have to be covered for, so being absent for one week out of every for will be mighty awkward. I'm a good typist. I'm open to seeking certification for something, but this is to be my next employment venture, ideally, so it can't hinge on anything like an associates degree where I'll have to be in school for a year.