Dust

Termination dust on the top of the highest mountain in the Chugach range, which looks like it is only a stone's throw from the picture windows that front my parents' house. Summer is over. The snow will climb slowly down the mountains, and given the amount of precipitation Alaska has endured all year so far, it will do so hastily as the temperature drops away. I feel like there's an engine spooling up inside of me, ready to propel me hard into combat. Winter has always been a bad time for me, whether or not I was here or there. It's not SAD - I'm unaffected by the change in light - it's something deeper and more elemental than that, a trough in the yo-yo of earthly energies that leaves me often gasping for breath. I suppose it is exactly what it is for most beasts of the earth. A time of hibernation and preparation; I'm just still learning how to balance the fact that my life doesn't stop for these months. There is so much to be done. I'm dallying while my computer makes it's way up here in the mail; but once it arrives, there's things I'm to teach myself, and the organized assessment of college options I must see to. Applications, essays, portfolios. Scrutiny, both at me and on my part. I doubt I will feel ready, there has not been a lot of that afforded me this year. The blows come fast and hard; most individual forces in my life are totally heedless of anything else that might be acting on me, or might not be backing me up. More so, I find, than usual. Later, I will be able to look at it like a good exercise of being fast on my feet, but at the moment...

On Sauce:

me: I AM THE SAUCE
jesusmcmurphy: I can drink you!
me: bbq sauce...
jesusmcmurphy: I can begrudgingly drink you!