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The First Elegy
Jul. 22nd, 2009 07:25 am- - Were you not always,
still, distracted by expectation, as if all you experienced,
like a Beloved, came near to you? (Where could you contain her,
with all the vast strange thoughts in you
going in and out, and often staying the night.)
But if you are yearning, then sing the lovers: for long
their notorious feelings have not been immortal enough.
(--Rilke)
I have been dreaming things that I don't remember. I booked my ticket to Los Angeles; I'll be departing on Monday. Packing is going to be frenetic. I want to be there as short a quantity of time as possible. As much as I have tried to sever myself off from those things, permanently, wholly, I feel as though the possibility of returning to my old neighborhood is stirring up things I don't want to see or remember. He is not welcome here, in my thoughts. I will be glad to turn my back on all of that for the last time.
still, distracted by expectation, as if all you experienced,
like a Beloved, came near to you? (Where could you contain her,
with all the vast strange thoughts in you
going in and out, and often staying the night.)
But if you are yearning, then sing the lovers: for long
their notorious feelings have not been immortal enough.
(--Rilke)
I have been dreaming things that I don't remember. I booked my ticket to Los Angeles; I'll be departing on Monday. Packing is going to be frenetic. I want to be there as short a quantity of time as possible. As much as I have tried to sever myself off from those things, permanently, wholly, I feel as though the possibility of returning to my old neighborhood is stirring up things I don't want to see or remember. He is not welcome here, in my thoughts. I will be glad to turn my back on all of that for the last time.