RE:

[crows]

The Day. I shouldn't be spending it in the apartment alone but I don't have the energy to go out and do anything. I don't think I'm making anything worse; it's hot and I'd probably make myself sick if I just went to wander around aimlessly, since I haven't had more than 7 hours of sleep in the last two days. Could take myself to the cinema? Anything playing? I doubt it. Maybe I'll go down to BestBuy and see if they have anything with Alan in it on the cheap. Can't watch Die Hard too many times, can you? I mean really. Being in love with a British man whom I've never met and could be my father is so superior to having a boyfriend; I'm unequivocally sure of this fact because it can never allow this thing that I am in right now to occur again.

Secondly, thesescarsspeak and williamlee, you guys totally rock for checking in with me (without reading the former post). Also, comarre, fuzzbean, wild_eagle, thanks for responding. It really does make a difference; talk to you all sooner or later. Much love. Much love.

Comments

[thereckoning.livejournal.com]

Life and stability are a fantasy we are made to believe as children. Alone, at least, I can relate to. Someone is always watching, someone is always listening. It is up to you to let them in or shut them out. My personal choice, is to remain somewhere on the outside looking in. If you have need, you know what I would do. The trick is to convince yourself to find sanctity in what you know, it is the only truth that matters.

[incommune.livejournal.com]

You are extremely correct. The trick I'm having trouble handing at times, day to day, is sorting out what truths in myself I trust and what things are passing fancies, insecurities, and fears that don't have any more substance than their surface. I'm so scared of the shadows in the darkness right now that it's difficult for me to discern a path through them, even if I logically understand that I won't come to harm. Slowly, slowly.

[thereckoning.livejournal.com]

You are looking for a path through where I hang my hat. You are welcome to reach out, my hand and shoulder is always there. You know how to find it.