authoring destruction

Now, in spite of the fact that it does mean that, for the last many weeks, I am chronically not getting enough sleep by a long shot... there is something oddly neat about waking at dawn. Showering by the grey light of a sky that I rarely get to see overcast, before the sun gets to business and burns off the morning haze; listening to the racket of finches that fills the almost-artificial trees that line my street... I enjoy being able to have time in the mornings, surely... it's nice to walk to the coffee house and get a cup for myself and my roommate before he heads out to his even earlier work day. I can buffer my time between waking and leaving the house, as well as between leaving the house and actually arriving at my workplace... it makes me feel like I actually own some of my time, which has been a struggle periodically in recent months. For some reason, I don't feel guilty working on, or thinking about, my own projects if I woke up at 6 30 AM to do so. Now, I DO work on and think about my own projects the rest of the time, too, I just feel bad about it because there's so much other stuff hanging over my head right now.

The only other thing I can say is that I hope my body isn't too accustomed to using dawn as a metric for wakeup time, or else Alaska is going to be difficult this winter -.-

So here it is. Yesterday, I spent a bulk of the day hanging out with a gentleman that I met, I believe, on LiveJournal a couple of years ago. This will be the first time we've properly 'met'. We had a grand old time, exchanged some writing, made fun of each other, and perhaps most relevantly, drank a-lot- of coffee. This lasted until about... two oclock in the morning. So overcaffeinated I couldn't even hope to think straight, I was up somewhere in the order of another hour, perhaps 15 minutes or so shy. It is now, approximately, 3 in the morning. I fall into a troubled sleep.

RIDDLE ME THIS! Why, why in god's name, after being up that late, did I awake when the first grey wisps of light climbed through the gap in our curtains? Light will eventually wake me, but usually waits politely until the sun is all the way above the horizon (rather than just threatening it, sorta) and commences to shine directly through the window into my bedroom.

That happens, by the way, that first light, at around 6.

No, I did not fall back to sleep. Not even a little. I have a 10 hour workday today.

I can tell I'm going to have to devour a lot of sanity pills. Over that period of time.

No, I don't know what sanity pills are at the moment.. But mark my words, I'd better find out before 10.