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It's not a cry that you hear at night.
Nov. 7th, 2007 08:24 amSo... one of the people I love most on the earth, who has the most attachment and influence in my heart out of anybody maybe ever, and I, have had a somewhat rocky relationship over the last year. I don't want to get into the details of what or why or since when; as my perceptions of this and his differ substantially I guess. Last night, I got to talking about how I don't feel like I -can- talk to him about anything other than piddly small-talk bullshit, and how I feel like most of the things I bring up outside of this set him off into self-righteous YOU HAVE OFFENDED MY HONOR HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK SOMETHING LIKE THAT 'crusader mode'.
He very calmly, very quietly appeared to try to rectify that... talk me down out of my frustrations, talk about the two different directions he feels he's being pulled in his life and why he doesn't feel like himself anymore. How he wanted to be able to open up to me and vice versa, and how he was really in a very 'non-aggressive' mood that night and hoped I could at least bring up some of the things I've felt like I couldn't in the past.
Baited, I did talk... Funny how you want to believe the things that fall from the mouths of your loved ones. Then, mid-sentence about how I felt like I (our relationship) was on one side of a choice between the kind of life that leads you to actual fulfillment and a stable peace with yourself rather than the kind of life that leads you to material things that garner the congratulations of the lowest common denominator among your peers (read: score with chicks and drive nice car, etc), he hung up on me mid-sentence and left.
...thanks.
He very calmly, very quietly appeared to try to rectify that... talk me down out of my frustrations, talk about the two different directions he feels he's being pulled in his life and why he doesn't feel like himself anymore. How he wanted to be able to open up to me and vice versa, and how he was really in a very 'non-aggressive' mood that night and hoped I could at least bring up some of the things I've felt like I couldn't in the past.
Baited, I did talk... Funny how you want to believe the things that fall from the mouths of your loved ones. Then, mid-sentence about how I felt like I (our relationship) was on one side of a choice between the kind of life that leads you to actual fulfillment and a stable peace with yourself rather than the kind of life that leads you to material things that garner the congratulations of the lowest common denominator among your peers (read: score with chicks and drive nice car, etc), he hung up on me mid-sentence and left.
...thanks.