The Sparkle Sapped

[crows]

Wow. Yesterday was a bad day. The worst I’ve had in a long time… a very long time. One of my more dear secrets in the house I live in was discovered, and now things have to take a very rapid change in direction. Musing over it all this morning, I know we’ll make it, but that doesn’t mean I’m not angry. It does, however, mean that I am not regretful. No regrets at all, in fact. Thought, now. Tears later, perhaps, but I did do a lot of crying already yesterday.

I didn’t eat a thing in the flurry though… A cup of coffee in the morning before everything happened, and a few sips of juice in the afternoon. Nothing else even though I knew it wasn’t good for me. By the time the head and humidity of the shower got to me and I got out, I was very shaky and felt like I was going to faint. I have since had a bowl of cereal and a big glass of water, but I can still feel it in my hands. It’s like nervous fatigue, still making me shake a little and not want to hold and pressure on any muscle for too long. I feel comfortable that I will make the drive across town just fine, though I’ll get something more in my system before I go. Maybe I should go out to Beluga with him. No one would find us out there. Not that they’d be looking, for chrissake I’m only going to be gone for the afternoon and I’m going to tell them… something. Denny’s, coffee, the mall.

Alright. That’s enough. I have a phone call to make and possible things to pack.

Anyone have any ideas why I can’t find any decent information about apartment complexes in Anchorage on the Internet?



BTW:: Switchblade Symphony is the band of the week. It was last week's band of the week too.

Comments

[vayleen.livejournal.com]

don't look on the internet, none are decent. find one of those little blue books instead but good luck anyway. whenever i have the time to call around, i can't find something decent enough to live in in an acutual anchorage livable area... it's a terribly trying task yet necessary in the long run. i'll find a place one of these days...

[chaotique.livejournal.com]

Yea... I've noticed. It's a long shot, especially since I have two months till I can even move out, and don't know what it will look like financially for both of us (Azure and I)... but he has a friend who's living in an apartment complex off of Huffman who's paying under 500 for her rent. She gets some utilities, but she has to pay for her own laundry. All in all, it didn't sound like a bad deal. I going to have to find out the name of the place and keep an eye on it.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_kelvin/]

i am sorry for your sorrows

[chaotique.livejournal.com]

As I am for yours, Kelvin. Though, your story appears more steadily than my bursts, I think. I must say, at present I understand very little of it.

I've gone and bound myself to the belief that there are reasons for all things. It's a good distraction to try and, rather than think of what's happened, think about why it might have... about when you're going to find out why any particular thing happened.

Re:

[http://users.livejournal.com/_kelvin/]

i do not understand my story either
perhaps it is something only to be revealed at the edge of dying?


there are reasons for everything, jos possible out of every sorrow

[chaotique.livejournal.com]

I would start to feel lonely if I thought I was the only one that felt that. Now, I will admit that I cannot keep myself convinced of it all the time, but we all need down bits. If I didn't cry as often as I do, I don't know what I'd do. If I cried any more than I do, I'd drown, but that's a different issue.

Re:

[http://users.livejournal.com/_kelvin/]

our tears balance; with other tears and joys.
we're all so lonely, aren't we?

[chaotique.livejournal.com]

Some more than others. I feel fortunate that, for the most part, I am not. Lonely, that is. We all have our afflictions... mine at the moment, I think is distraction on a very grand level. But, then again, that's where the balance part comes in.

Re:

[http://users.livejournal.com/_kelvin/]

you say it exactly.
i am lonely, though.